Closet Pokemon Fan Club
by OkashiraShinomori
Summary: A totally random bit of fan fiction cooked up by the PartnersInCrime, OkashiraShinomori and Chou Nuriko. This is what happens when secret Pokemon obsessions are brought to light among students and teachers alike...
1. Chapter 1

_**Okashira:** ((Looks warily at the fic.)) Be warned dear readers. What you find here is the product of insanity...  
**ChibiSecchan:** ((Playing Pokemon Ranger at the background)) Come back here you stupid ground roller!  
**Okashira:** ((Points.)) See, this is the kind of Pokemon related randomness that brought forth this fic. Pokemon are slowly taking over everything, including Negima. ((Watches the ground roller squish Negi.))  
**ChibiSecchan:** ((Finally managed to capture the Donphan as it squishes Negi)) This gag had been going on for a long, long time already. So we thought "what the heck" and write it out  
**Okashira:** ((Nods.)) So you'll find something of an explosion of Pokemon-ness here. That's a good thing, of course...  
**ChibiSecchan:** And we're NOT responsible for the last random GracefulShippy bit. Not at all.  
**Okashira:** Certainly not! That was keeping Kono-chan and Secchan perfectly in character. They really are like that._

_**Closet Pokemon Fan Club**_

_**Part 01**_

_**By OkashiraShinomori and ChibiSecchan**_

Sitting against the back wall of the fountain, Kotarou's face flashed through various emotions. Fear, worry, happiness, sudden regret, finally settling on a wide grin. "Alright! Finally beat 'er!"

Somewhere not far away, roommates Kagurazaka Asuna and Konoe Konoka were chatting merrily. They spotted Kotarou on said fountain, holding something black in his hands, and decided to approach him: It's not good to offend a Naba Chiduru, after all.

"What's that?" Asuna began and peeked at the little black thing--a GameBoy Advance.

He held it out to her with a wide, wolfish grin, pointing at the screen. "See?" He looked proudly from the GBA to Asuna, his grin widening. "I beat you! Not only did I beat you, I totally whooped you!"

"Me?" Asuna repeated. "Since WHEN you can beat me?"

Kotarou sat back down against the fountain, a self-satisfied grin on his face, and looked confidently out at the courtyard. "I've ALWAYS been able to beat you, but mainly since I started playin' this," he held the GBA out to her after clicking through a few menus to display his Trainer's Card.

Peering into the green card, Asuna finally understood what Kotarou meant by beating her as she spotted the Heat Badge. She raised an eyebrow at it and secretly reached for something in her bag. "Big deal."

The dark-haired young man's jaw dropped a fraction of an inch and he sat up straighter, first looking at his GBA screen to be sure she saw the right thing, then back at her. "Big deal? What?"

Almost dramatically, the twin-ponytail girl whipped out a familiar console, albeit navy blue in color, from her bag. She switched it on and loaded the same game quickly, flipping to her own Trainer Card, showing the fact that she was actually quite ahead of him. "Come again if you can actually beat Senri, the next Gym Leader."

He pulled at her arm, dragging the unit closer so he could be sure it wasn't an odd trick of the sun, and stared, slightly dumbfounded. "Since when've you been playin' this?"

"Since always," Asuna answered simply. "Well, I've renamed one of my old Pokemon after the Herrmann thing. But that's not a big deal."

Grinning, she quickly made her character headed to the nearest Pokemon Center and switched on the virtual PC. She quickly found what she was looking for, and showed him the status page of a particular Poochyena, waiting for the violent reaction that was bound to follow.

His stare was blank, perhaps unseeing, as the name and the species of Pokemon both slowly registered, then clicked together. Next to the species name, "Kotarou" was entered in plain white characters. "A...P-Poochyena?" He stood up, brandishing his GBA like a weapon. "You named a little pup like that after ME?"

"You two are alike, after all! Doggish and noisy...Dark Type suits you perfectly too!" Asuna said without even bother to suppress her grin.

Kotarou stumbled over wordless expletives for a moment, seeing that she had a point in both of her reasons but deciding not to agree. "Y-yeah? Well you're...you're...you're like a Snorlax, you big oaf!"

Being offended by that metaphor (like the majority would), Asuna's fiery temper flared again. "What did you just say, brat! You should be grateful that I didn't name a Wurmple after you!"

He crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from her, looking at the sky with a stormy expression. "Even if you did, it'd be a Wurmple that'd kick butt; that's for sure."

"I'll be looking forward to see you tripping over your own String Shot," Asuna shot back with a similar expression.

With a glare, he started to reply, then found himself at a loss for a good comeback. He looked to Konoka, hoping for something he could use to insult the other girl that he knew so little about.

"Asuna-san! I got challenged by a trainer with a Cascoon!" Negi, tears in his eyes from fear and worry, appeared from one of the school buildings at a dead run clutching a now familiar looking device. "What do I do?"

Putting the were-dog boy and his comments at the back of her mind, Asuna turned to the kiddy teacher. "Oh puh-leeaaassee! Just use ANYTHING that can deal damage! Cascoon doesn't do anything except Harden and you know it!"

"But but but it's all pointy...what if its father was some weird mutated Pokemon and had Tough Skin and passed it along to it? My Pokemon could hurt itself!" He shoved the GBA up to her view, waving it about in an attempt to get her to understand the urgency. "And I don't' have any kind of distance attacks!"

Behind them, Kotarou grinned again, his previous anger not as prominent. "Y'mean lil' Negi here's gettin' lessons from you?" He strode up closer, grinning between the two of them.

"Well, Konoka got him a GBA for his birthday and..." Her attempt at answering Kotarou's question was cut off by Negi's whining that stretched Asuna's patience to its limits. Turning to him, she quickly pointed at the "Pound" attack of Negi's Treecko. "That's why they have Pokemon Centers. Just attack it!"

Negi cast a worried look at the taller girl, shrinking somewhat under her harsh response, and hit the A button. Everyone was silent for a moment. "Oh my god!" He screamed in a rather girly manner, staring in shock at the screen. "It worked!"

Kotarou, also looking at the screen, was about to roll his eyes but instead widened them in shock. "What the heck? A Poochyena's next?" He turned around, throwing his hands into the air and casting a warning glare at Asuna.

"Ooooh, 'Kotarou' up next." Asuna whistled. "I trust you can handle this yourself, RIGHT?"

Negi looked up at her with a blank, confused expression on his face, then at Kotarou who stood behind him, reaching up as if to strangle the red-head. "Kotarou's up next?" Still looking fairly lost, he handed the GBA to the other boy.

"I'm not up next you idiot!" He thrust the game console back at the smaller boy. "Just ignore her! She doesn't know what she's talking about."

"C'mon Negi! It's a good chance for you to defeat 'Kotarou' in a real battle!" Asuna added gleefully.

Kotarou cast a truly hateful glare at Asuna and reached over Negi's shoulder, flipping the power button to off. "Never mind, dummy."

Negi stared at the screen in shock. "A-A-Asuna-san...Asuna-san never showed me how to save..."

Asuna looked at the young mage in shock. "You never saved! Well, at least it's only at the beginning and you battled nothing more than a Torchic, a couple of Wurmples and 'Kotarous'..."

"Alright, that's the last straw, girly!" With dramatic flair, Kotarou pulled a link cord from his pocket, cursing as one end flipped up to hit him in the face. "You've got me mad now! We'll see who's stronger!"

"Challenge accepted!" Asuna almost hissed as she picked up the other end of the cord and shoved it to the connection port of her GBA. "You! Pokemon Center, right now!"

Grumbling to himself about her stupidity, Kotarou directed himself to the nearest Center and waited impatiently as it went through the proper starting procedures. "There, you ready?"

"Ready as ever! Go Solrock!" The redhead yelled as if she were the one who was fighting the actual battle.

With something of a sweat drop and a self-conscious glance around campus, Kotarou watched as Solrock popped up opposite his Mudkip. "Mudkip, Water Gun!" he ordered, hitting the buttons harder than he'd intended in his excitement.

"Not so fast, Confusion! Make it One-Hit KO!"

Kotarou cursed under his breath as the higher leveled Pokemon managed to get the attack in first and Mudkip's HP gauge moved from green, to yellow, to red, then suddenly the GBA made that depressing little noise of defeat and Mudkip dropped off the screen. "Crap..." With slightly nervous fingers, he called Wingull out.

Just as Asuna gleefully ordered a Rock Tomb from the Meteorite Pokemon, hoping for another OHKO by STAB, Shinmeiryuu Swordswoman Sakurazaki Setsuna approached the group. "Eh, Ojousama? What are Asuna-san and Kotarou-san..."

"NO!" Kotarou screamed, completely unaware of the presence of the other girl. "What the hell is wrong with this thing?" He directed a glare at the link cable, then at Asuna. "You did something to this! You're cheating somehow!"

"Stop blaming the cable. Or me. Just train your Pokemon better," Asuna said shortly as she finally noticed the presence of her mentor. "Oh, hello Setsuna-san. You're back from Kendo practice?"

Sweat dropping at the scenario in front of her, Setsuna answered. "Yes...and may I ask what you two have been doing up 'till now?"

Konoka giggled and tugged Setsuna up closer to the scene of action so to speak, pointing at the two GBAs. "Well, Kotarou-kun finally beat Asuna and got the Heatbadge, but OU Asuna showed him the Poochyena she named after him and he got mad 'cause he doesn't like having one named after him." She took a breath and continued. "So now they're fighting and Asuna's team is totally killing Kotarou-kun's."

Setsuna had to shake her head a little, as if to clear her brain after hearing a speech with so many "Asunas" being used. "Eh, the 'Asuna' that Kotarou-san had gotten the Heat Badge from is the one who's using Fire Types in Fuen, right? And the one who just...swept his team is Asuna-san?"

Kotarou made a strangled cry and glared at the entire group. "Meowth, that's right," Konoka giggled at getting to use the trademark slogan. "Apparently Kotarou-kun is just as blustery with video games as real life."

"Wait a second." Asuna stopped the flow of conversation and turned to Setsuna. "Setsuna-san...since WHEN does Setsuna-san know about Pokemon!"

Gulping nervously, Setsuna raised her hand in defense. "Tatsumiya got me a CD with all the movies and several episodes as a joke Christmas present..."

"And the next step is the manga," Konoka squealed joyously, tugging on Setsuna's arm. "I can't wait to show you Nagi and Mikuri..." 

Blinking almost blankly, Setsuna looked over, "There is someone called 'Mikuri' in the story line...? I'm more interested in the coordinators though, Haruka, Harley and Wakana..." Setsuna scratched her chin sheepishly.

"You don't know him? Oh, Setsuna-san probably hasn't tried the game...I guess that's pretty easily explained..." Asuna thought out loud.

"Damn it Asuna-neesan!" Kotarou all-but roared as his final Pokemon was taken down in a single shot. She hadn't been paying the GBA much attention while talking with the newcomers, something that made the dog-boy all the angrier. "Rematch! Right now! C'mon!"

With an apologetic wink at Konoka and Setsuna, Asuna turned back to her portable game console with a weary sigh. "I'll let you explain it to her, Konoka," she said with a wave over her shoulder, "Seems I'm gonna be busy beatin' some sense into Kota-kun here." She paused for a second, grinning maliciously at him. "Again."

A strangled cry of frustration and anger rang through the courtyard and their battle started anew. Not new results, but new battle.

_Japanese to English Translations_

_Asuna Flannery  
Senri Norman  
Nagi Winona  
Mikuri Wallace  
Fuen Lavaridge_


	2. Chapter 2

_**ChibiSecchan:** Being loyal fans we are, it's finally the time for our favorite Gym Leader to appear!  
**Okashira: **But it's a little...different than you may expect. Like...a gender sized gap, so to speak.  
**ChibiSecchan:** ((Nods)) Totally, and presupposition working at its full strength too.  
**Okashira:** As well as basically freaking Negi into a catatonic shock to boot!  
**ChibiSecchan:** We've even thrown in a few grammar rules as a service.  
**Okashira:** So everyone study up! You'll learn a little English as well as a few rules to battling.  
**ChibiSecchan:** And here, we warn the kids NOT to try the last part at home. It's not good for your Link Cable, the cartridge and your heart._

_**Closet Pokemon Fan Club**_

_**Part 02**_

_**By OkashiraShinomori and ChibiSecchan**_

"Hmm..." Asuna frowned at the English questions as if she was trying to will the answers to appear. "What was that again?"

"Asuna-san, adjectives are not supposed to go in front of a verb..." Setsuna explained beside her and glanced at Konoka secretly for confirmation of the grammar rule.

Konoka looked up from her own set of questions, rather further along than the other two and blinked. "Huh? Oh, yeah, that's right, Secchan." She pointed at Asuna's paper with the eraser of her pencil. "Move it over here."

As Negi looked up from his grading to confirm Konoka's correction, the doorknob of their dorm room twisted with the metallic grating sound of it being forced, and the door burst open, admitting Inugami Kotarou into the den of intelligence and education. So much for the atmosphere.

"Negi! I just beat your 'DAD'!" Kotarou laughed, holding his GBA up for the entire group to see. "He was tough, but I got him without much trouble." The wide grin he wore was one of a braggart, just begging to be wiped off his smug little face.

Too caught up in school work, Asuna's brain couldn't set its gear into action and she jaw-dropped at the statement. "His DAD! You know where he is!"

Negi scrambled off of his raised area at the side of his room, not bothering to use the short ladder, instead jumping to the ground, grabbing his staff from the corner. "Where is he? Is there a map on the GBA or something?" A wild, desperate light in his eyes, he gripped the proffered game console.

Kotarou blinked in surprise, looking between the two who reacted loudest. "Um, no...I beat the Gym Leader, duh." He pointed at the screen, specifically the Feather Badge on his Trainer's Card.

"Then why the heck would you say you beat his...dad..." Asuna sounded annoyed at the beginning, but trailed off as realization floated up among her thoughts. Realizing what Kotarou had mistaken, the twin ponytailed girl could not help but laugh out loud.

Negi looked back at Asuna with a glare. "Hey, don't laugh at my dad!" It was obvious by his vociferous response he was still too caught up in the moment, or totally clueless about the Supervisor of Hoenn's Gym Leaders.

Kotarou glared at Asuna, confusion flickering behind his eyes. "What?"

"I-I'm not!" Asuna managed to say between her breathless laughter. "But your doggy friend there just...made the funniest mistake I've ever heard..."

The "doggy friend" merely glared harder. Not only was he apparently being laughed at, but it also appeared he'd made a mistake.

"What do you mean, Asuna-san?" Negi asked, slightly bewildered. "H-how could he mistake my father? There's only ONE Nagi Springfield..."

"If Kotarou-san just beat whom I think...the person is," Setsuna replied as she saw Asuna was laughing too hard to answer, "I think what Asuna-san means is that he had mistaken the wrong Nagi."

Konoka, trying to muffle giggles of her own with one hand, nodded. "He's talking about Nagi the Gym Leader, not Nagi the Thousand Master," she explained, not that it helped much.

"...Dad's in a video game?" Negi's expression and voice had gone from hopeful and excited to completely confused.

"That's the point," Setsuna said hesitantly, finally deciding that being frank would be the best way to go. "This Nagi...is female."

Negi stared at her, completely at a loss for words. Kotarou, however, had plenty to say. "H-he's a she? S-she's not a he?" He looked down at the screen, hoping it would help to conjure a memory of what she looked like, forgetting that function of another of the game's devices. "But...but..." he looked up, a shocked twitch in his eye, "that means I didn't go easy on a girl!"

"And that means Negi-kun's dad is named the same as a girl," Konoka whispered, almost not sure she wanted Negi to hear, but unable to resist.

At Konoka's statement, Asuna only laughed louder, causing Setsuna to shake her head sadly at her "student".

The son of the Thousand Master almost didn't catch the chocolate-haired girl's statement, and it registered slower than normal. "Dad...has a girly name..." As if it were the ultimate blow to his pride, he sank down against the wall, clutching his staff to him, his mind racing. "W-what if I'm named after a girl too..." his eyes grew wide at the realization.

Kotarou shook his head, slightly perturbed but still able to insult Negi given the opportunity. "Nah, you're just named after rabbit chow..."

"She's strong, though, if that is any consolation;" Setsuna said to the perturbed Kotarou. "'The most talented bird trainer in Hiwamaki, if I recall correctly."

Kotarou grinned down at Negi. "Not that that meant much."

Before the child teacher could respond, a pillow sailed across the room and smacked the dog boy in the face. "Hey, be nice to Nagi-chan!" Konoka admonished, her hands on her hips.

Negi, still against the wall, muttering to himself, merely shivered. "Nagi-CHAN..."

Finally having managed to calm herself down, Asuna wiped a tear of mirth from the corner of an eye. "Since when're you Nagi's fan?"

"Since the first volume of PokeSpecial when it showed that she and Mikuri have a relationship, that's when," Konoka stated defensively, leaving Kotarou with a still clueless expression as to what they were talking about.

"There is a Pokemon manga series?" Setsuna asked in surprise.

"Konoka practically worships the series," the red-head said with a mock bored look at Konoka. "She can lecture you for hours on it."

The healer in question grinned proudly, nodding at the statement. "It's the one I've been tryin' to get you to read, Secchan." She reached behind her and pulled a volume out from under her pillow and handed it to the swordswoman. "See, Nagi-chan's in this volume."

Blinking at the book with a bright "Volume 18" printed on the front, she just shrugged and began reading. Meanwhile, Asuna turned back to Kotarou. "Why are you here again?"

"Oh! That's right!" He grinned and stalked closer, once more holding his GBA before him. "To brag that I not ONLY got past Senri, but got all the way past that Nagi dude, er, woman."

Not even slightly impressed, Asuna only raised an eyebrow and reached for her own console in her drawer. "Only?"

"Dammit! Where are you now?" Kotarou asked in loud exasperation, fuming. She always seemed to be one, or five, steps ahead of him...

With the game finally loaded, Asuna showed him her Trainer Card with all the eight trainer badges printed on it. "Currently training for the Elite Four."

"...I hate you." He glowered at her, then at her annoyingly full Trainer's Card. "When do you find the time to do that?" he all-but screamed after a moment's silence. "I don't study! You do! When do you get this far?"

"Before last week, she only plays occasionally during the weekend," Konoka answered cheerfully from the sidelines. "But since she beat your team so thoroughly last time, she's started playing on the train trips everyday as well."

Kotarou winced visibly at being reminded of his rather pathetic loss to the red-head. "But that's still not much! I play for more than four hours everyday!"

Negi, finally regaining a little of his usual attitude, his pride still stinging from Kotarou's earlier insult, looked up at. "You must really suck then..."

Sensing a battle brewing very very quickly, Setsuna moved herself to the safe sanctuary of Asuna's upper bunk (with the manga) and watched from above.

Konoka scooted back, hopping up onto her own bunk as well, clutching a pillow to herself as she watched excitedly. So few interesting things happened anymore...

"S-suck? This coming from the guy who got his butt kicked by a Cascoon and a Poochyena?" Kotarou scoffed. "And just where're you at, midget-sensei?"

Negi stiffened at the name, but grinned proudly. "With Asuna-san's help, I'm just past Touki, thank you very much."

"At least he won't think Cascoon might have Tough Skin anymore, thankfully," Asuna added, ignoring the Kyoto duo who hid themselves from their 'mild debate.'

Negi cast a hurt look at his student but couldn't debate the truth of the statement. "I'm doing a lot better over all," he stated, looking back at Kotarou.

The dog boy scoffed again, shaking his head. "Nah, you're only at Touki. You couldn't have changed that much." He glared at Asuna. "But she has."

He grinned slightly, before Asuna had a chance to comment. "It's really nice of you to be helpin' such a weak trainer along, Asuna. Is there any particular reason?" His voice contained that wheedling tone that made one want to reach out and touch him. Very hard. Repeatedly.

"Because I'm the only one who's capable enough to teach him. Konoka never played beyond Gold/Silver, Setsuna-san didn't even know the game existed, and you...well..." Asuna said the last part with a smug grin.

His eyes twitched again and he clenched a fist, stopping abruptly when his GBA let out a worrisome crack as the plastic shifted. "And what's 'at supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know what that's supposed to mean," Asuna replied almost gleefully.

"It means you're too weak!" Konoka offered helpfully from her bed, coaxing another frustrated growl from the dog boy.

"I'm not weak!" He turned around, waving his slightly misshapen GBA about wildly, stalking towards the door. "You just don't understand the kind of strength I have!"

"But that 'strength' is not useful in Pokemon battles, is it?" Asuna shot back while making quotation marks in the air with her fingers.

He growled again, turning back on his heel with a glare. "It is too useful in Pokemon battles!" Much to his chagrin, he sounded more like a whiny child than anything, but a fist once raised couldn't be put away. "You wanna see?"

"Sure, sure!" Asuna answered like she was talking to a 10-year-old, and picked up the link cable from the same drawer where she had placed her GBA.

Stepping quickly over the forgotten English books, Kotarou seated himself beside Asuna and roughly plugged the cord into his GBA, navigating to the Pokemon Center and beginning the link process. "Ready when you are," he growled.

As if taking great care in doing so, Asuna plugged the cord into her own console, taking her time in getting ready, knowing it would only infuriate the demon child more. After several seconds of button pressing and Pokemon allocating, she grinned evilly at him. "Ready."

Tinny battle music filled the room, and Kotarou winced visibly as Tropius appeared before his Swampert. He glared up at her and selected an attack at random, knowing it wouldn't be fast enough to hit. "You got lucky, this round," he muttered darkly.

Grinning gleefully, Asuna selected Magical Leaf and watched with a triumphant hum as the foliage whipped Swampert's HP to absolutely nothing in an instant. "You've gotta think about type in these things, Kota-kun," she said in a mock-teaching voice.

Trying his best to ignore the infuriating red-head, he grimaced and selecting his own Tropius from his now three Pokemon line-up. His opponent raised a wry eyebrow at the choice, shaking her head. "That's still not thinking about type, little pup."

Kotarou remained admirably silent, his confidence rising, as he placed the cursor beside what he considered a rather clever addition to his flying/grass type's move-set. "Toxic!" he cried, trying to express his frustration verbally at the girl, refraining from breaking the table.

"Ooh, nice choice," she commented as, surprisingly, his Tropius managed to get the hit in first, fracturing her HP by a third and poisoning it. "So nice, I used the same thing," she continued with an absolutely venomous grin.

"No way!" he shouted as the sound of a special attack broke through the midi-quality battle theme. The HP bar seemed to linger in the red area before dropping out of sight, his Pokemon following. "Critical hit" flashing across the bottom of his screen caused a return of his new found eye-twitch.

Konoka and Setsuna glanced between themselves, sharing a grin at the ease at which their friend was triumphing over their teacher's rival, quickly turning back to the combat to see the next loss on Kotarou's part.

Cursing to himself, Kotarou selected Nuzleaf as his next combatant, blinking in both fear and relief when he saw Asuna recall her Tropius. In its place, bringing a grimace from the dog boy, burst a Blaziken. "Have I mentioned I hate you?" he muttered as he said a silent goodbye to his dark/grass Pokemon.

"I think you might've said it before, but I really haven't been paying much attention," Asuna returned with a mock yawn, keeping an eye on him for a reaction. Blaziken's trademarked Blaze Kick rid Nuzleaf of its HP before it could launch the attack Kotarou had hopefully entered.

With a frustrated roar, Kotarou stood up suddenly, seeming to have forgotten his GBA was attached to cord. Throwing his hands into the air, he winced as the unit was pulled from his grip and hit the desk, the batteries popping out of the back, the screen going dark. "Nice job, Kota-kun, take the easy way out and ruin the game," Asuna commented, unable to contain her rather raucous laughter.

Konoka and Setsuna joined in, Setsuna using the volume of manga to try and cover her laughter, albeit unsuccessfully.

Gathering the GBA and its power source with angered stabs of his hands, Kotarou cast a glare at every member of the room, causing Negi to shiver slightly, having seen such a glare only once or twice before. With a slam, the door closed behind him as he stalked out, a mix of growls and grumbles beneath his voice.

"Well, that was fun," Asuna commented with a wide grin at each of the people in the room. Setsuna was watching her warily, unsure now of her decision to teach swordsmanship to someone with such a delightfully vengeful streak.

Her voice as innocent as possible, the red-head picked her pencil back up and situated herself beneath the table again. "What were you saying about adjectives, Setsuna-san?"

_Japanese to English Translations_

_Touki Brawly  
Asuna Flannery  
Senri Norman  
Nagi Winona  
Hiwamaki Fortree_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okashira:** Yes! There's more! And this time NOT involving our fiery Asuna and her exploits over Kota-kun!**  
ChibiSecchan:** ((Grin smugly)) Instead, it's about someone with a Flying Deck mercilessly storming over someone's Water Deck.**  
Okashira:** ((Mumbles about the winning streak ending soon.)) And about the innocent bystander who eventually gets caught up in the beating, er, playing, that is.**  
ChibiSecchan:** But the exploits WILL be back. So don't worry, and please enjoy this slaughter of another kind.**  
Okashira:** Yeah, enjoy it...((Begins whispering Kono-chan's opponent's deck secrets in her ear.))  
**ChibiSecchan:** We're here to present this chapter of insanity, and I'm proud to say...This chapter is based on a true story. ((Drags Secchan over and starts teaching her how to use her deck most efficiently.))  
_

_**Closet Pokemon Fan Club**_

_**Part 03**_

_**By OkashiraShinomori and ChibiSecchan**_

"Think you're ready, Secchan?" Konoka asked as she reshuffled her own blue-backed deck of cards. She and the Shinmeiryuu swordswoman had had their second practice game of the Pokemon TCG interrupted, this time by a snow white ermine launched by Konoka's roommate landing in the middle of the table, sending their cards flying.

Setsuna, chewing absently at her lower lip, trying to remember when she was allowed to evolve her Pokemon, nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess I'm ready, Kono-chan..." With a gulp she handed her deck across the table they normally did their homework on to Konoka, taking hers in return and shuffling it briefly before trading back.

Both girls drew a hand of seven cards, scanning them to make sure they had at least one of what was termed a "Basic" Pokemon, that is an unevolved form of one. Nodding at each other, they drew the next six cards and, without looking at them, laid them face down at the side of the table, setting them away as their "prizes" for taking down the opponent's Pokemon.

As Konoka placed two cards face-down on the table top, Setsuna flipped a coin high into the air, catching it in her hand and slapping it to her wrist in the manner she'd seen on television. "Tails," she proclaimed, setting three of her cards hesitantly on the table as well.

With a dissatisfied frown at Setsuna's gesture for her to go first, Konoka flipped her three Pokemon over, revealing a Ditto, a Horsea, and a Seel. Surprised she'd remember to put them face down in the first place, Setsuna flipped over her team of Taillow and Skarmory.

Setsuna's chocolate-haired opponent and mentor grinned, slipping a blue card picturing a drop of water beneath her lead Pokemon, Ditto. After a second's thought, she slapped "Bill" to the table-top, not bothering to explain its effect, and drew two cards, quickly whisking the, to Setsuna, annoying young man's card into her discard pile. "And now I'll use Peck," she declared with a triumphant grin at managing at least a little damage the first round.

"...Peck?" The swordswoman peered curiously at the lump that was Ditto. _It clearly only has Transform..._ She blinked and looked closer at it, feeling like something of an idiot when she'd finished reading the attack description. Slightly perturbed by Konoka's unusually happy smile, she drew a card as she was supposed to and looked closely at the card.

"Um, I'll play _Professor Elm's Training Method_," she stated, hesitantly letting it fall to the table, picking up her deck, and pulling a Swellow from it. She reshuffled quickly and placed a Water energy of her own beneath Taillow. "Have a Peck from the real thing," she returned with a small smile of her own.

The healer cast her a hurt look and drew a card, tucking it into her hand. "Now Nagi, that wasn't very nice, was it?"

Setsuna turned around in her chair and looked over her shoulder, seeing only Asuna putting her underwear back in her drawer and Chamo nursing his wounds of earlier. "Er...Nagi?" Sweatdropping slightly and wondering if her girlfriend had finally had a little too much magic, Setsuna turned back around to the game.

Slapping another card, this one labeled _Pokemon Breeder Fields_, onto the table, Konoka pointed at her Horsea and Seel as if to explain and flipped her coin twice, not even giving the raven-haired girl a chance to see the card's effects. "Yes! Heads for both!" she squealed, immediately picking up her deck to search.

_Oh that can't be good,_ Setsuna decided, sliding the card she'd played across the table to take a look at it. As she finished reading, and comprehending, its effect, Konoka slapped two, rather more dangerous looking, cards down atop the water types. "I'll evolve 'em to Seadra and Dewgong!"

Setsuna studied their stats, still unpracticed at reading them quickly and winced. _Oh that's definitely not good...those are much more powerful..._ Despite the sudden power jump that Konoka brought upon herself, Setsuna found her own line-up evolving and expanding as well. By the time she had evolved her Taillow to Swellow and had it knocked out by Ditto, she had managed to add a Swablu and a Dratini to her roster.

Much to the Konoe heir's utter horror, directly after her knock-out of Swellow, the newbie player she had been instructing promoted Dratini and immediately evolved her to Dragonair, a sinuous and beautiful dragon. Dazzling, one might say.

"Dazzling Blast!" Setsuna found herself all but roaring in her excitement at having a possible upper hand. She flipped the coin, chanting _Head, heads, heads,_ in her mind, watching it spin through the air with her sharp eyes. It hit the table and spun, landing firmly on the side known as tails. Other than a disappointed heave of her shoulders, she didn't allow it to bother her, feeling slightly cheered as Konoka grumbled and added two more damage counters to her Transform Pokemon.

The chocolate-haired girl's eyes brightened as she drew her next card, a water energy she'd been lacking, and immediately attached it to her faux Dragonair. Not bothering to do anything else, she looked at the attacks open to her and smiled. "Healing Wave!" Groaning in regret, Setsuna allocated the three damage counters to her dragon, resenting Konoka's removal of one from her Ditto. "How's it feel to fight your own Pokemon, Nagi?"

"Why are you calling me...Nagi, Kono-chan?" Setsuna questioned, her voice a little hesitant as she drew her card, a Metal Energy, and attached it promptly to the Pokemon that could best use it, Skarmory.

"Because that's who you're like, Secchan," Konoka grinned, leaning on her elbows. "You're the Nagi to my Mikuri."

Still without the slightest idea who this Mikuri person was, Setsuna nodded, clearly not understanding, and promptly changed the subject, almost as if she didn't want to know. "I'll just use Dazzling Blast since it's really my only option..." She flipped the coin, repeating the mental cheer for its landing on the OTHER side. Across the table, Konoka crossed her fingers and watched the coin, hoping for a repeat of the last try.

The swordwoman's face broke into a grin as it hit the table with a clink, the "head" side facing up. "And Ditto's confused!"

Placing a few more damage counters on her lead Pokemon, Konoka stuck her tongue out at her opponent, spinning Ditto's card ninety degrees to mark it as afflicted with a status effect.

Her visage darkening as her prospects did, Konoka drew a card and grinned, playing it to the field immediately. "_Bill_!" As Setsuna looked on, she drew two more cards from her deck. Almost as quickly, the healer played a Water energy to one of her Pokemon and placed _Pokemon Trader_ in the middle of the table, obviously intending to use it.

Pulling it shrewdly closer so she could read it, Setsuna absorbed herself in picking up what Konoka might be doing as the other girl searched her deck for something that might save her pride from another blow if Ditto was wiped from the field. With a wide, rather frightening grin, she pulled a card from her deck and sat it atop Seadra.

_That only happens in evolution,_ Setsuna thought slowly, not quite understanding what she was going to be up against until she actually saw the card itself. The face of a Kingdra, Seadra's final evolution, adorned the card, along with a high HP number and comparatively high attack points. _Oh no, oh no, oh no..._

"Healing Wave," Konoka declared gleefully, "flipping for confusion first." The little gold five Yen coin soared into the air once more, and Setsuna found that Konoka's face fell just as quickly as the coin had when it landed on tails. "Aww, no fair..."

Setsuna coughed discretely, masking a smile, and pointed at Ditto, reminding her silently of the result of failing to attack while confused. Grumbling about regretting being such a detailed teacher, Konoka slid two more damage counters on her rather heavily adorned Ditto.

Beginning to really feel her confidence build, Setsuna drew, tucking the card into her hand, and placed a second Dratini onto her bench area. Konoka pouted across the table, and the swordswoman was hard put not to take back the move, but succeeded by distracting herself with an attack. "Dazzle Blast, of course."

With a slightly shocked expression, having not expected to experience any losses at all, Konoka swept Ditto and his three energy cards into her discard pile. Grinning to herself, Setsuna picked up one of her prizes and nodded in satisfaction at the _Super Energy Removal_. She'd seen her Kono-chan use one to devastating effect during one of their short-lived practice games.

"_Energy Removal,_" Konoka stated, her voice still slightly laden by surprise. "Hmm...on Skarmory's Metal Energy," she decided, grinning at the loss of the special type of card. The Shinmeiryuu student shrugged and tossed it into the discard pile. Truth be told, she really wasn't sure how its special effect worked anyway.

Grumbling silently to herself, Konoka glared at the energy-less Seel she had promoted in order to bide her time. "I'm done, Nagi."

Ignoring the apparently new pet name, Setsuna drew and sent a silent prayer of thanks to whatever kind deity was watching over her game. Looking with an innocent smile at her girlfriend, she sat another Dragonair atop her new Dratini, evolving it into a menace exactly like the one already contesting against Konoka's Seel.

Drawing back in her seat imperiously, the swordswoman pointed at Seel. "Dazzling Blast, Dragonair." _And it'd better be heads,_ she thought as she sent the coin into the air again. _YES!_ The coin landed hard on the table with a clink, firmly resting on its tail, heads facing into the air.

A strangled cry escaped Konoka's lips as she drew her card, adding the appropriate damage counters to Seel and slipping him ninety degrees as she had Ditto. "You're usin' Ki or something, I know it," she muttered, glaring at her hand. She looked up at Setsuna, her glare turning merely playful and slightly pouty. "Done."

Having but one card in her hand, Setsuna knew her luck was holding up when her draw produced a _Professor Oak._ "I think it's a safe risk to do this," she explained, setting the renowned Pokemon researcher in the middle of the table and throwing a water energy to discard pile, proceeding to draw an entirely new hand of seven more cards.

Although it bode ill when Setsuna placed an enchanting blue Altaria on top of her Swablu, Konoka couldn't help but smile. "It's about time you bring out your best, Nagi," she stated, liking the implications of referring to the stoic girl by the name of Hiwamaki City's gym leader.

Setsuna didn't respond, instead merely waving her hand at Seel. "Dazzling Blast." She didn't bother to flip her coin as confusion was not a status that wore off after a turn, and it would have been pointless to flip again. Keeping her face in a semi-kindly set, Konoka added the appropriate number of damage counters to her white Pokemon and drew a card.

Her face fell, however, when her draw turned up nothing more than a water energy which she placed on her Dewgong. _Ooh, if Secchan knocks out Seel next turn, I can bring Dewgong out for free and start using Aurora Beam..._ She tried to keep her face looking disappointed though she suddenly had reason to remain hopeful, and motioned at Setsuna. "Done."

The swordswoman drew and didn't bother looking at the card, merely smiling and waving cheerily at the Seel card. "You defended your Trainer well, Seel," she said, smiling up at Konoka. "Dazzling Blast." Trying to shrug in a nonchalant manner, Konoka deposited the Pokemon into the discard pile, not liking that Setsuna was ahead of by a victory at all.

"That's okay," she muttered, sliding Dewgong and its large allocation of energy up to take the place of its fallen brethren. "I'm gonna use _Super Energy Removal_ on the OTHER Dragonair's Lightning and Water energies," Konoka said slowly, savoring the moment although Setsuna merely shrugged it off as if it were hardly a hindrance to her.

"And now, I'll return the favor for Seel, Nagi. Aurora Beam." Setsuna blinked, a little surprised by the smug sound of her girlfriend's voice and looked at the opposing card, scanning for the attack. It had no side effects, but held fifty points of HP drain as punishment. She looked at her Dragonair and her eyes widened.

"No!" Her shoulders slumped in disappointment, both at loosing the pretty and useful Pokemon, and at herself for not realizing that she should have let Seel stay there so she couldn't have promoted Dewgong and wiped out Dragonair.

With a sigh, the swordswoman stacked Dragonair atop its energies and sat her in the discard pile, thanking her silently for fighting hard and taking out two of her opponent's fighters.

With a click, the dorm's door opened, admitting one of the shorter of their classmates, Ayase Yue. Setsuna looked up curiously at her, not expecting the leader of the Baka Rangers to visit so randomly. _Perhaps for a meeting of sorts with Asuna-san..._ To her surprise, she only nodded a polite greeting to the red-head, instead strolling over to stand beside their game table, nursing a drink that Setsuna didn't investigate for a name, fearing it would turn her stomach as most did. "Good afternoon, Konoka," she said, articulating perfectly around the straw. "Setsuna-san."

The swordswoman nodded in greeting at her, looking back at her cards, drawing one from the deck and mulling over her options. "It looks like your game might have improved, Konoka."

Setsuna looked up in surprise. _Yue-san plays the Pokemon TCG?_

Immediately taking on a pouting expression, Konoka looked up at her, hurt. "That's mean, Yue! I'm a good player! You just got lucky." She turned back around to face Setsuna, her hand folded in her lap, fidgeting slightly. It didn't exactly look good to have herself belittled before her student, particularly when said student was her Secchan.

The raven-haired girl felt a small smile tugging at her lips and her hopes rose. _So Kono-chan isn't the unbeatable water type Trainer she made it sound like she was..._ Hiding a smile behind her hand of cards, she pushed her second Dragonair up the ready.

With Yue watching, and the knowledge that Konoka's card playing abilities were not all powerful, Setsuna began to take the upper hand, albeit after her second Dragonair suffered the same fate as the first, taking a rather fast dip into the discard pile. Directly afterwards, the swordswoman's rapidly played flock of Altaria buried Konoka in the very house of cards she'd built.

The first of the two Dragon-Birds managed to put to sleep and knock out the Dewgong that had given her Dragonairs so much trouble, following with an encore of doing the same to a, this time, harmless second Dewgong and a Seadra, taking them both down while suffering little damage in return.

Throughout, Konoka's Kingdra menaced Setsuna's thoughts in the background. Until, that is, she managed to draw a _Super Energy Removal _as one of her prizes. She had smiled slightly at the first one she drew, playing it immediately and sacrificing an energy from her second Altaria in order to suck two Water energy cards from the menace that was Kingdra. Had it bothered Konoka much, which it didn't due to the two replacement energies in her hand, she didn't let on, trying not to let her frustration show.

However when Setsuna repeated the feat the very next turn, leaving the dragon-type with only one energy, and thus completely useless, the healer wasn't able to stop her jaw from dropping slightly and casting a dark glare at Setsuna's deck of cards. "Y-you can't do that...Kingdra's..."

A grin fluttered across Setsuna's face, and she decided to put her history class to good use. "Even the Bismarck was eventually hit Kono-chan," the corner of her mouth twitched again, wanting to smile, "then swam in circles until it was sunk."

"The Bismarck?" Setsuna nodded, and Konoka grew thoughtful, knowing she was missing something.

"Don't worry, I'll just demonstrate," Setsuna replied with a small grin.

After a moment of concentration and a few hints from Yue, the healer frowned, pouting. "That's mean, Secchan! You're not supposed to say stuff like that in your first game!" Try as she might, Konoka drew no more water energy, and Kingdra, the mightiest Pokemon in her deck, merely sat in her back ranks, treading water.

Immediately afterwards, Konoka grinned as she drew what had in many cases been a life saving card. "I'm gonna force Skarmory out!" she declared, laying it on the table. Setsuna studied the cards curiously and merely shrugged as she rearranged them appropriately. Without its Metal Energy, the field was evenly matched, had it not been for Setsuna' inexplicable good luck involving coin flipping. Even Yue was slightly impressed at the move of the healer, though it was only logical.

Much to Konoka's utter frustration and impending fear, even to the point of her standing, waving her cards about, shouting "TAILS TAILS," Setsuna managed to hit Ditto with enough repetition to send him back to the discard pile. "The wind seems to be blowing in my favor," Setsuna commented wryly.

The healer slumped back down onto her pillow, her hand of evolved Pokemon, useless without their earlier stages, fluttering to the floor. "How...how did you win? It was your...your first game..." She stared at the cards as Setsuna picked up the last of her six prizes, grinning in an uncharacteristically thrilled fashion.

"Maybe I'm more like Nagi than I thought," she stated with a hint of glee. Finding herself at the other end of the embarrassment giving, she decided, was definitely a good thing, though she didn't like inflicting such on the Konoe heir. But beating her in her first game...

"Yue-san plays Pokemon?" Setsuna questioned as she regained control over her voice, having had to hold back a small laugh upon.

As Konoka muttered to herself, likely nothing any of the room's other occupants would want to hear, the dual-ponytailed girl nodded, frowning as her drink made that annoying sound of being empty. "Yes, I've played for quite a while. I taught Konoka, actually."

"Perhaps you could advise 'Mikuri' a little bit more then," Setsuna interjected, casting a guarded glance at Konoka. She knew almost nothing about the man who was apparently paired up with Nagi, except that in their own relationship, Konoka considered herself to be the Mikuri and Setsuna to be the Nagi, and that Mikuri was of a higher rank.

"The Champion might not want to have to go back to Gym Leader," she finished, allowing a small smile as Konoka crossed her arms huffily and pouted, glaring at her cards.

"I'm just too good of a teacher, that's what it is," she consoled herself, trying to forget her earlier loss to Baka Leader.

_Japanese to English Translations_

_Nagi Winona  
Mikuri Wallace  
Hiwamaki Fortree_


End file.
